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Children take adding a new baby to the family in many different ways. Some choose jealousy, some the helper role, still others town crier. Understanding what your child understands about the business of babies is how to determine exactly how to break the news.

Toddlers have a grasp of language, knowledge of the word "baby" and curiosity. Waiting until mom begins to show she is pregnant is usually best, especially since toddlers aren't the most patient creatures.

Engaging toddler in the preparation for baby is essential for smooth transition from being the baby to being the big sister or brother. This is a good habit breaking time as well, since now it is time for baby to have blankie or binky.

Elementary school aged children better understand the concept of the baby inside actually being a person. If this child has been the baby for four or more years, take particular care to explain that the new baby will not take her place. Again, allowing this child more responsibility toward care for the infant will reinforce that she is a very valued member of the family.

The 10-12 year old may be the most difficult to engage in new baby activity. His general tendency to be absorbed by his hobbies and friends will render him almost inconvenienced by mom's pregnancy. If he is not already well-informed, this is the perfect opportunity to discuss from whence babies come and the dangers involved.

With the identity malaise of being a tween, he will need a little extra attention, especially just before and after delivery. As you plan your away from baby time, make sure to make a date with your tween to go do his favorite activity. This one-on-one time will be essential for maintaining harmony and reinforcing that he is great the way he is.

Teenagers. Let that sink in for a moment. This breed of pseudo-adult will either be thrilled or be totally devastated, likely on a cyclical basis throughout the pregnancy. Take the happy days as opportunity to shop, decorate or clean. Take the down days to discuss some of the emotional turmoil. You will find it may not have anything to do with new baby at all.

Adult children may be the hardest to tell of an impending sibling. Don't be surprised if the news is met with either sarcasm or humor about the cause of pregnancy or anger coupled with frustration. Tell your adult child as soon as you find out. This is not the time to create trust issues.

Babies are a family event. Share the news. If not thrilled at first, they will love the new baby from the first time they hold it!

Learn more about this author, Ann Marie Dwyer.
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