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The only value that comes from make-up sex is the ability to learn that is has none. When I was a teenager, I used to think it was a great "in the moment" deal, where, after you fight, you make up, and then have awesome sex.

And while there is the possibility of it leading to a stronger connection, there is also the danger of it being used as a controlling weapon.

If an argument occurs, something simply, then you talk it out, work it out, you feel as though something was accomplished in the communication part of your relationship. Later in the evening, you wine and dine each other, have some make-up sex, and it's great. And you move on to better things in life, life having sex because you want to and it's fun to do.

However, there are people who think make-up sex is fun, and perhaps even important in a relationship. And while that may be true, there is a thin line drawn between that of occasion, and that of obsession.

Suppose one utilizes the ability of make-up sex against their partner. It is not inconceivable to think of one person deliberately starting an argument for the sake of the end result of make-up sex. Those limits are then nudged, little by little, until one partner realizes the other will give in to the make-up sex all the time, and deal with the constant arguing that goes with it.

This controlling behavior can also lead to not only the emotional abuse, but physical abuse as well. Maybe simply yelling doesn't work anymore, so a slap across the face will.

Like everything in life, everything has it's other side. In a healthy relationship, make-up sex, without intent, can be a good thing with bringing together a couple closer, after working out a solution, and feeling good about themselves otherwise. In a not so healthy relationship, make-up sex is potentially a tool for abuse.

Learn more about this author, Pukalolo Palolo.
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