My parents and I have always been there for my sister, no matter what she's done and no matter how disrespectful she has been. She has been in an abusive relationship for over three years now and it seems there is no end in sight. Over the course of these three years, my sister's boyfriend has done everything but kill her, and I fear that could be next. He has drug her across the pavement and given her road rash on her bottom; bitten her nose and left puncture wounds on either side of her nostrils; broken her jaw to where she had to have it surgically wired shut; given her numerous bruises on any part of her body; grabbed her by the throat and thrown her here and there God knows how many times (leaving bruises in the shape of his hand); stabbed her in the chin with a broken beer bottle and left an ugly scar. He once ripped her underwear off so violently that she fell and gashed her hip on her bed frame. He has burnt her eyelashes off on one of her eyes. And the list goes on.

They now have a 10-month-old daughter together which adds a whole new wave of worries. Recently, a friend (a male) of my sister's had talked her into leaving him. Since they new he wasn't home, they decided it would be safe to go to the house and gather some of her belongings. As they were taking things to the car, the boyfriend pulled up the driveway with one of his friends. At some point, my sister's friend left probably because he was scared. And apparently at another point, her boyfriend's friend left as well. In fear of her life, she jumped in her car and proceeded to reverse at high speeds, but as she pulled away, her boyfriend slashed her tire and busted in the windshield. She lives in the country so she was speeding on a dirt road with on of the front rims sparking rapidly as she went. As she was driving she called 911 on her cell phone and was able to tell the dispatcher where she was located before the phone cut out. She had a few drinks earlier that evening and on top of that she was driving on a rim; so needless to say she was out of control and almost hit the deputy that was called to the scene.

The very next day I drove my sister to the sheriff's department where she wrote a report about the events of the previous night and the history of the abuse. She also got pictures taken of the wounds she received from the boyfriend a couple of nights before. This was a Friday. The deputy she spoke with said she'd have to wait until Monday to actually file charges and obtain a protection order. So we waited.

In the two days she had to wait, she must have been doing a lot of thinking. She must have been thinking crazy thoughts because she has decided to not file the charges and wants to try to work things out with her boyfriend. Her excuse was that he has bipolar disorder (not actually diagnosed) and that he needs help and they are willing to get it. But they've talked about getting help numerous times before and never went through with it. She also made the excuse that she doesn't want to take the baby away from him. We all know that bipolar disorder (especially if it's not diagnosed)is no excuse to accept being abused; and we all know that the baby would probably be able to see her father (though with extreme hesitation) in a supervised setting. And just for the record, the father hasn't spent a whole day with his daughter since she was born. Not one day. Why? Because he can't handle her.

So what do you do when you've done all you can do? How can you reach out any more than my family has reached out to help her? Giving up on her has never crossed my mind, but it seems this situation is hopeless.

Learn more about this author, Brenda Smith.
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