by Krystie Bohmer

Created on: January 27, 2012   Last Updated: January 29, 2012

The decision to place an elderly parent in an adult home is not always an easy one.  In fact, this is probably a milestone in your life that always seemed far into the future.  Sometimes no matter how much you plan and prepare for life’s changes, your emotions may lack the same progress bringing on an uncomfortable feeling.  

Besides questioning over and over again whether or not placing your parent into an adult care home was the best thing for him/her, you must also wonder if your loved one is truly being given the utmost care.  Feelings of insecurity and discomfort can often be eased by gaining more information on the topic in question.

There are several ways to discover the way your parent is being cared for. By doing a little bit of leg work on your own by being a personal spy for your parent, you will either sooth your discomfort and embrace the thought of knowing your parent is being well cared for or you will dig up some dirt that may need some cleaning up.

Leg Work

Try Googling the name of the facility. You may come across links to community forums that are real people talking about the place. Another option is to write in the address bar “reviews for . . .”  If anyone has written a review about that particular adult home, it should come up for you to view.  Check the BBB (Better Business Bureau) to see if there have been any complaints filed.

Attend Functions

Keep yourself in the loop about what functions will be taking place in the near future and attend as many as you can. Be social with other resident guests. If the opportunity arises, ease the conversation towards the care that is provided at the home. People love to vent, so if there is a problem, you will hear about it.

Be Observant

Make time to visit with your parent at least once a week if you are local. Take note on how your parent and other residents interact with the attendants. Are they cheery to each other? Do the attendants seem warm and caring? Do the attendants seem happy or unhappy?  Keep in mind that the atmosphere of where you live can greatly affect someone’s emotional well being.

Check for cleanliness. Are the clothes that your parent is wearing clean? What about his/her fingernails? Notice if his/her hair is well groomed. Are the bed sheets clean? Don’t forget to check the bathroom and shower areas. Elderly people can be very prone to sicknesses.

Set up traps that will satisfy your curiosities by your next visit. Place a small object such as a dime under the sheets at the end of the bed. Mark an article of clothing with a little dot of wet food such as mustard in an inconspicuous spot to make sure clothes are being washed on a consistent basis. These are just a few ideas that you can do to see if certain things are being attended to.

Ask

Ask to see medical records periodically. Ask to be informed about abnormal daily events such as the need to be restrained or given any other type of medication.

Most importantly ask your parent how they feel and how he/she feels about the way he/she is being treated. Depending on the condition of your parent even a small discretion can indicate an issue that needs attention.

Knowing that your parent, who resides at an adult care home, is being cared for properly can relieve a lot of stress for you and your family. Looking back to your childhood years, your parents took care of you the best they could and now it’s your turn to ensure that your parent is taken care of to the best of your abilities.

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