My relationship is great. Most of the time. My boyfriend gives me plenty love and attention, the things a girl my age needs. We're in love and we have been for quite some time. We often think about getting married and having children and living blissfully in some big house in the suburbs. Sounds perfect huh? Not exactly.

My boyfriend has an amazing four year old little girl. She truly is a sweet girl and I love her already. Don't see the potential problem yet? Let me help you. My boyfriend already has a family. His daughter's mother is also included in that family. My position is often times third or fourth in his life. He always has to put his daughter before me but sometimes he also has to put his daughter's mother ahead of me too. The latter is a little harder to deal with just because this woman is essentially his ex-girlfriend. It's difficult to not feel a twinge of jealousy or neglect and even sometimes mistrust when situations arise that he has to give her more attention than myself.

She is his child's mother. If he and I were to actually get married I would be marrying her and his daughter too. It's like going to the store and picking out a ready-made family and taking it home to own. Not only that, I am the least important person in this family. I'm last in line until I eventually have children of my own. Then the fight would seemingly get harder. Can I love my child and my step-child equally? Not likely. Not to say that I wouldn't truly love my potential step child, but naturally my own child would receive my undying unconditional love before my step child would. That could surely put pressure on a marriage.

It's safe to say that I am totally willing to accept these problems before they even happen. It's good to know that they can happen but they also don't have to. I'm not getting married yet but it's hard not to think about it in such detail but I can't help it only because my boyfriend does have a child. I'm so in love him, I love everything he is and isn't. That alone tells me that maybe this is the way it was supposed to be. I wasn't supposed to meet a man, get married and start a family the "traditional" way. I respect my boyfriend's family because it's who he is. It feels right and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Learn more about this author, Christian O'Connor.
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