by Soloman Samuel

Created on: March 23, 2007   Last Updated: May 02, 2007

"When in Rome do as the Romans do."

Thus was the advice given to St. Augustine by St. Ambrose regarding his journey to Rome, circa 390. Each culture seems to have their own variation of this wise proverb. It is advice intended for the listener to heed when traveling to foreign cultures-follow local customs and courtesies allowing a visitor to mingle within the populace.

It is important to understand what offends and what is expected in interacting in societies. Your behavior could affect your mission. Whether you're a business agent, a tourist, or a representative of your country, your actions reflect the sincerity of your motives.

Surprisingly, what we say, is only about 10 percent of the communication process. What you do, and how you say it, far exceeds the actual wording. Look at the following incident; You're in a hurry, walking fast through a crowd, and accidentally bump into another. Perhaps you feel it's their fault for just lallygagging, then you express your displeasure by stating, "Excuse me!", in a sarcastic-raised voice. The actual wording-meant to convey a polite, apologetic, exchange-then becomes an intentional confrontation.

This is just an example of how body language, intonation, and facial expressions all represent the context of the message rather than the wording itself. Sometimes, this mixed message is done unintentionally. In the Middle-East, it's considered extremely rude to "expose" or show the sole of your shoe to another. Although it may not be the purpose to insult the others, the message is still damaging. What is considered to be a relaxed posture, by crossing your legs, thus showing the sole of your shoe is misinterpreted. And it may not have been intentional, but the insulted party will perceive it that way as a sign of disrespect-and will be viewed by the insulted as your failure to learn their ways.

Another example of culture divides that set us apart-personal space. Many cultures stand very close when conversing. Parts of the Middle-East and Latin America individuals will stand within inches of one another, making intense eye contact, and using wild gestures. Whereas in the United States, this would be "invading one's personal space". If someone were to do this, the natural reaction would be to step away from the situation. Yet in parts of Asia, our distance is considered too close. In China, those conversing stand at least 3 feet away from one another. Anything closer is considered "invasion".

Now consider how these examples of body language are further influenced by a verbal barrier. Therefore, you now experience two "language inhibitors". A third one is-your appearance-which there's not much that can be done. This includes your gender, race, age, height etc.. You can fit in more easily if you choose to dress like the locals. In some parts of the world this is encouraged and demanded.

Study the local cultures where you intend to visit. Learn their greetings, handshakes, and other tips that may garner acceptance. Make sure your appearance conforms to their ideals, and lastly make sure your personal habits don't conflict with their ways. The best way to show respect is to learn their customs.

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