by Dy-Anne

Created on: March 23, 2007   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

Being a person who never knew my father growing up I can definitely attest to how horrible that can be. Wondering why you don't have a father like everyone else. Watching other kids with there dad and just wishing you could have that experience. Not to mention the over-inflated feeling you get when things are going badly that maybe if you were there and not here things would be better. A hollow hope that will never be realized.

My story is one of a childhood without my father and filled with intermittent father figures and I always blamed him for this. As I got older the resentment got more pronounced, I wanted a dad more and more. Once high school graduation was approaching I even sent him an announcement to my graduation hoping that I would at least get a card in return. I spoke with my great Aunt about it and she could never understand what was going on but always assured me my dad loved me, and all I could ever think of was, "If he loves me so much, why doesn't he call or write or anything?"
Fast forward many years and somehow I finally made email contact with him. My husband at the time and I were going to be visiting Colorado, where lived, so I made plans to see him for the first time in over 20 years! I had already had 3 children one of which was only one month old and would be taking the trip with us. When I got there he was not the man I expected, this was not a man who would have left his child behind. After since having moved to Colorado myself, I now see my father all the time. I have had a chance to get his side of the story and that's what brings me to my next point.
Maybe it is not just the ex that is not showing up. My mother kept me from my father. Now there is the possibility that he is lying and I just don't want to acknowledge that, but knowing my mother I know that that is they type of thing she would do. He never had addresses or phone numbers for where I was. My mother was fearful that I would go away and she would be left with nothing. Sometimes it is the custodial parent that makes the mistake.
I can definitely see both sides of the story. My fiance's ex-wife does exactly the same thing. He will call to find out what time he can pick up the kids the next day and she blows him off and says she can't talk about it right now. Other then getting the police or even social services involved there is no way to enforce the visitation. She accuses him of not following the agreement, but then she alters the times he can see them and punishes him

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