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The reality of arranged marriages

by Ian Loft

Created on: March 23, 2007   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

An arranged marriage takes on many forms. In Western culture, the first concept that usually springs to mind is the thought of parents choosing partners for their children as some form of business arrangement, and with respect to some existing cultures today they would be correct. An arranged marriage however can also be taken in other contexts where the couple are not necessarily forced to proceed with the commitment against their will.

The more obvious form is forced marriage where parents choose a spouse for their children, sometimes at birth. The son or daughter in these circumstances is not given a choice and depending on the culture, refusal may lead to punishment or even death. Such arrangements are still common in the Middle East as well as parts off Africa and Asia.

The traditions of arranged marriages were more widely practiced in the European royalty to either cement alliances or maintain a royal bloodline. These arrangements sometimes involved first and second cousins, and the stability of nations relied on blood ties by marriage. This practice is not seen in contemporary royalty however to some degree the choice of partners available to a person of royalty may not permit marriage to commoners'. For this reason King Edward VIII abdicated the English throne in 1936 to marry the woman of his choice, an American divorcee Wallis Simpson.

Another less compelling form of arranged marriage is where parents choose the future spouse for their son or daughter but respect the decision of either should they disagree. There may be considerable pressure by parents if their children do not agree but nobody is forced to make the commitment. These arrangements may be viewed as an overextension of parental authority where mum and dad know what is best for their children.

Families of considerable wealth will often select a range of suitable candidates for their children to ensure the right calibre of partner becomes part of the family. This is in reality a thinly disguised form of arranged marriage however the most likely cause of any serious opposition from the wealthy parents may only become an issue if the prospective new family member is the wrong sort'. This is characteristic of class-oriented families, usually with considerable ties to power and politics.

A more subtle method is where parents arrange introductions they consider may be suitable choices. Some may even go as far as speaking with potential candidates before introductions are made.

In our Western culture the idea of arranged marriages is not widely accepted. Different cultures view the bond of marriage in more ways than one and pressures of religion, class or tradition often take precedence over freedom of choice. Arranged marriages still exist in more than one form yet it is not a matter of concluding the practice is abhorrent. An arranged marriage in some cultures is part of an entire culture considered as normal as we in a Western culture might view eating certain types of food.

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