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and It feels like my whole world is falling apart. I become totally self absorbed. I lose my motivation. I am forced to act happy when I feel miserable, to act loving when I just want everyone to go the hell away. I believe that if I went and saw a psychiatrist right now, I would be diagnosed as bi-polar, given a heavy regiment of paxle, lithium, or whatever the hell else my insurance would pay for, when the truth of it all is: I have seasonal depression. When most people feel a little blue during the holiday season, I feel pitch black. I have to get off my butt a little more then the average Joe, to get out of the house more often then most people have to. I have to go to the gym and work out so I get a natural high, sleep better, eat healthier. I have to change a lot during winter. The one thing I wont change? I will never take medication for another mental ailment again, as long as I live. I don't' need to. I'm not a danger to myself or others, I'm not going to quit my job (if anything, during the winter, I usually work harder to keep my mind from wandering), I'm definitely not going to lash out at the people I love... Well any more then I usually do. More then anything, I think taking medication is more for people with severe chemical imbalances. I do not feel medication should be used as an excuse for not having to use your common sense.

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