by Melinda Hardeman

Created on: December 18, 2011   Last Updated: December 22, 2011

Getting ready to tackle the next phase in your child's life?  You might be taking deep breaths and feel like you are fixing to jump into the deep end of a pool with lead weights on your ankles.  You aren't alone.  Nor are you alone in running to the internet to research the "How-to's" of potty training. 

Take one more deep breath and relax.  I promise that if you follow some of the steps provided and take a little advice from this once terrified mom that you and your toddler will both make it out of the pool alive and well!

Right and Wrong Time

One of the first questions you might be asking is, "Is it the right time?  How will I know if it's the wrong time?"  The answer is quite simple.  The right time is when the toddler is ready, the wrong time is when you are not.  Sounds cryptic doesn't it?  Basically you cannot be lazy with potty training but you cannot be over zealous with it either.  Your toddler will know when it is time.  He or she should be able to understand simple commands such as, "don't get your pants wet" or "flush the potty". 

The time will be right also when they sow a dislike for a wet diaper.  You can use little tricks like offering them big girl or big boy underwear and tell them they don't want to get it wet.  This often works when the time is right, when they can understand what you are saying.  Each child learns at a different rate so please try not to look at other children and say, "They learned by the age of..."  Emotionally it is never a good thing to try to force this upon a child to try to keep up with the Jones.  Gently guide them when they seem ready, even if you are not.

Myths

While few studies have been done on potty training.  It is almost certain that early potty training does not lead to neater children and on that same token, late potty training does not lead them to be slobs.  Bed wetting is common in both children who were potty trained early and late.  Bottom line here, worrying over these things isn't worth the effort. 

At the end of the day, potty training is mostly in the hands of the toddler.  All you can do is guide that hand along the natural path.  Praise them when the job is well done and encourage them even when the job is well - not so on the mark.  Never make the toddler feel as if they have done something wrong, this emotionally will only set them back and may make it near impossible to complete at all. 

Potty training is perhaps the biggest step in a toddlers life, it marks the end of one era and the beginning of another.  It is a time to smile and celebrate, not fear and dread.  Remember, our children pick up on our emotions so let them only see love and encouragement.

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