by Christine G.

Created on: December 21, 2011   Last Updated: December 22, 2011

Virtually all parents dream of being the best parents ever, enriching society with the finest talent of the century.  We hope and pray that our children will be happy, successful, and secure.  We secretly dream that they will be new, improved editions of ourselves, redeeming our failures and giving us ample reason to be proud.

How do we bring out the best in our children?  This question cannot be answered by reading a book and making a list.  This is a lifelong journey.

The first step is to decide what the best really is.  Are we hoping for material success or outstanding achievements?  Is it better to be a contented garbage collector than a tormented neurosurgeon?  Are virtues like integrity, compassion,courage and faithfulness desireable add-ons, or are they the core of meaningful existence?  Until we are brutally honest with ourselves about our own values and priorities, we cannot hope to craft a blueprint for our children's lives.

The greatest parenting challenge is to lead by example.  Day after day, consistently, model the attitudes and behavior you would like to see in your children.  Become the person you would like your children to be.  If they like what they see, they will follow in your footsteps.  If not, you will enjoy the satisfaction of your own personal growth.  Do your best and leave the rest to God, Providence, or whatever Higher Power you trust.

One of the greatest dangers of growing up in an affluent society is that parents are tempted to over-indulge their children and make things too easy for them.  This creates inflated expectations of what their future adult life will be like.  Young people venturing out of the family circle will expect to begin at the level of wealth and comfort that was provided for them, and rise from there.  This attitude of exaggerated entitlement ends in disastrous fantasy-reality collisions.

Children thrive on challenge.  They appreciate what they have earned more than what they have been given.  When they accomplish something that is difficult for them, their self-esteem soars.  They may not necessarily appreciate being obligated to do their share and honour their commitments, but in the long run, they will savour the fruit of self-respect.

When your children want something, respond with something more than yes or no.  Discuss the situation with them.  Find

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