by Marlin Bressi

Created on: December 21, 2011

The world of online dating is a game best suited for men who are bold and aggressive.  Gentlemen who overflow with meekness and old-fashioned values tend to finish last in the dating game.  We can blame technology for this, because technology has turned us into a culture where everything has become instant.  Decades of technological progress have made us impatient, a culture unwilling to stand in line.  From instant coffee to instant messaging, we are a society who does not like to take things slow.

How does this need for instant gratification relate to dating?  Simply look at the popularity of online dating.  Dating used to be a time-consuming process, but technology has replaced the need for months of friendship and courtship.  Unfortunately, this is bad news for nice guys.  Before online dating, nice guys had the advantage.  They were able to build a relationship slowly but surely, in an old-fashioned and traditional kind of way. 

In the modern game of dating, the advantage goes to the bold and the aggressive.  In a typical day, a single woman using an online dating service may receive hundreds of emails from potential suitors.  Nice guys, who prefer to take things slow, are now forced to compete against jerks addicted to instant gratification who refuse to take no for an answer.  By the time a nice guy works up the nerve to ask a woman on a date, the woman will have already been propositioned by a few hundred aggressive males.  Sadly, many of these single women will not wait around to select the male with the best qualities because the woman is probably addicted to instant gratification as well.  Some women may be holding out for true love, but many are just looking for a date.

Even outside the realm of online dating nice guys are at a disadvantage for the very same reasons.  By the third date, a nice guy may finally work up the courage to hold a woman's hand, but the aggressive male will already be carving one more notch into his bedpost.  Jerks really don't have an interest in getting to know a woman on a deep emotional level; they're just trying to fulfill their urges like over-sexes monkeys. 

Yes, nice guys really do finish last in the dating game.  However, it's better to finish last and be alone than it is finish first and contract herpes or chlamydia. 

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