by Alexandra Heep

Created on: December 19, 2011   Last Updated: December 21, 2011

Living with disability challenges on a daily basis is difficult enough without the constant barrage of Christmas commercials and ill-placed comments by family and friends during the holiday season. Well-meaning loved ones often utter sentiments like "what matters is family," and "it could be worse," or "at least you have your health." If you don't have family members or they live far away, feel at your worst already or have an invisible disabilities that leads others to think you are still fine, these comments can be like poison arrows.

Even the non-disabled can find it hard to get in the spirit of the holidays. While it would be easy to crawl under a blanket and forget about it all, that's not a solution. How then do you overcome disability challenges during the holidays?

Setting Realistic Expectations

It's a fine line between setting realistic expectations and not expecting anything at all out of life. Living with lowered expectations is not life, it's merely an existence. Realistic expectations are different from lowered expectations. Kindness and compassion are realistic expectations no human being should do without.

Everyone, disabled or not, has a right to these, during the holidays and any other time. Search out people who will give this compassion and stay away from friends or even family members who aren't capable of these emotions. Just because it's the holiday season, these people will not change and all of a sudden extend kindness when lacking it in the first place.

Unrealistic expectations would also include for squabbling family members to get along over the holidays or hoping for a cure of your disability over the holidays. Since many disability challenges cycle (flare up), it's even possible to feel worse as seasonal stress increases.

Take precautions by asking your doctor (if you have one) what you can do to boost your endurance. Health care professionals won't do anything until asked, so inquire if there is anything you can do to handle holiday stress better. They may even advise taking more of a certain prescription (don't do that without doctors orders).

Another unrealistic expectation: If you are estranged from a partner or other family members, he or she will also not magically reconcile and spend the holidays with you. Hoping for this will only lead to pain. Instead, try to meet new people who are in the same situation for emotional strength in numbers.

Dealing with Isolation

Isolation, whether self imposed from depression and phobias

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