by Troy Shields

Created on: March 22, 2007   Last Updated: May 17, 2007

How to Take Over the World in 40 Steps

1. Become insanely wealthy through any means necessary; most likely to be through less than legal means with corrupt dictators, smuggling, and murders.

2. Use said wealth to further corrupt and control said dictators. Become so essential in their government that I am actually puppet master of this poor country, preferably in Africa. After I have created a good relationship (in secret) with said country and said country's leader, win over said leader's staff, police, and guards through higher pay and charm.

3. Convince said staff, police, and guards to assassinate said dictator, replacing said dictator with said me.

4. Emerge to the public world as a new leader in the poor, corrupt nation; appear to be a loving leader who is going to help the people, so as to be on the good side of the United States.

5. Use said wealth to corrupt countries around my country (in complete secret), to the point that I control them too.

6. Become good allies with the United States and Co.

7. After corrupting my neighboring countries, expose their corruptness to the United States and world; preferably in the form of dangerous biochemical weapons and perhaps nuclear technology.

8. Convince the United States to support my country in a war with said corrupt counties, so as to easily take over the country, which we will then occupy.

9. Repeat steps 5 through 8 until I have around half of Africa, which must include Madagascar.

10. Use Madagascar as my home; a highly protected island surrounded by my Navy.

11. During this time, be sure to take care of citizen's needs, so as to be loved by them and the United States of America.

12. Build up armies, navies, and air forces.

13. Take over and colonize Cuba, with permission of the United States; or at least warn them we are going to do it.

14. Offer Cube to the United States of America; they will most likely deny, but it will show our loyalty and lack of aggression towards them.

15. Take over the rest of Africa through corrupting, bribery, and threats.

16. Buy a very, very popular news media in America which will be used later for corrupting American citizens. (This must be a secret purchase).

17. Use said news media to corrupt American citizens into believing that their government is completely corrupt and tyrannical. (Do not provoke action, yet).

18. Convince America to go to war against the Middle East entirely; a war which we will help in.

19. Fight against Middle Eastern nations, but give them money and tell them where

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