by Casey-Leigh Hethers

Created on: December 11, 2011

In the space of many decades, if we are lucky, our parents are a source of love, information and protection. The perceptions that are held for parents are never fixed. The way each person sees their parents will fluctuate as the years pass and their own understanding grows. Parents can be the constant in life - always present, devoted and loving. In return, children learn this love and return it without fail. The bond is a lasting connection through the years.

Early life

Babies, infants and children all look to their parents for protection and nurturing. Parents aren't often questioned for the things they do, although tantrums and emotional outbursts can have their moments in a child's behaviour. Acting out is just one more opportunity to secure the parents' attention. As babies, everything is dependent on the parent providing care and taking educated guesses as to what is needed from the different sounds that may occur. As pre-adolescent children, parents are expected to provide an education, be involved in the entertainment and provide answers to every question that may be asked.

Teen years

As a child enters the stage of being a teenager, there is a common belief in society that this is when they are most rebellious and disobedient. It is not necessarily for a lack of attention or nurturing during the earlier years but because the teenager is establishing new boundaries and working to achieve a level of understanding towards their role in the family and, on the larger scale, in life itself. There can often be a need for the teenager to look to their parent for discipline and guidance.

In this part of the life cycle, parents can be seen as the authority figure and this doesn't always convert satisfactorily for a teenager. It can often lead to parents being viewed as the 'enemy' during these years, often through no fault of their own. It is one of the defining phases of a child's life and can be crucial in coming up with a new development in the parent-child relationship as the years continue. Defiance and stubbornness are traits that will be found but need to be overcome during the hard moments to find a happy outcome.

As adults

During the years where children become adults and parents are no longer the controlling force in their lives, a new relationship forms between the two. Respect should be a main factor found in the link between parent and child but it should be a mutual respect shared between two equals. The parent can still be sought for advice and guidance but no longer can they be counted on to take the blame when decisions backfire and choices cause problems.

However positive the relation may be overall, it should be accepted that there may be some negativity and problems from time to time. With the right approach, these will be nothing more than minor bumps in the road - an obstacle to challenge but not defeat us. Towards the later years in life, some children discover that they must become almost a parent to their own parent. This should not affect or replace the love that exists.

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