Having both parents be alcoholics and the knowledge that I also have an addictive personality has kept me from becoming overly destructive. I watched may parents and learned from their mistakes when it comes to choosing my temporary escapes from reality. I also learned that there were healthy addictions that could be substituted in order to avoid more troublesome results.

Because of those observations early on, I won't touch alcohol and don't keep a personal repository of chocolate in the general vicinity of my work spaces. If I feel myself becoming increasingly anxious or depressed, I will attempt to play a tune, listen to music and do some light house cleaning, play a video game, or put in a video. At work, I will read, play soft music, or make a game out of an assigned task. I love puzzles and a large part of my job duties involves problem solving, so it is rare that I am not saturated in one of my addictions.

If you are dealing with a family member who has an addictive personality, the best thing that you can do for you and for them is to come to terms with it and avoid changing him or her outright. By forcing the issue and insisting that they stop the behavior, you are boldly forcing the opinion that you don't like them. This can cause clandestine engagement in the unwelcome activity or acting out. Instead, I would offer that a new activity be found that the person enjoys and that you find acceptable. Whenever the activity that is not desired is displayed, a gentle request for the alternate activity could be used. This method will take time and a lot of patience, but the outcome will be worth it. A good rule of thumb is three months for every ten years of age.

Feel free to check my bio and send an e-mail with your story or thoughts on these approaches.

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