by Angella Gailey

Created on: December 08, 2011   Last Updated: December 09, 2011

I have two girls that are only fourteen months apart, and I can see on their faces when they think I am putting them off and I have seen them try to make each other think that they are my favorites, but they know that it is not true, and I tell them so constantly. But I do tend to ask myself, “Do I have a favorite? If so, which one?” When I ask myself this question, I always come to the answer, “No, I have favorite things I like about each child, but I do not have a favorite child.”

When I look at each of my girls, I see different things that I like. My oldest can act very grown up, while my youngest is just plain smart. My youngest loves to snuggle, but my oldest is the one I don’t mind climbing into my bed when she has a nightmare because she doesn’t kick me in her sleep. My oldest is extremely athletic, but my youngest will curl up with me and read a book for hours. There is nothing that makes either one of my girls my favorite, but there are many things about each child that I absolutely adore that is unique to that child.

Many parents’ favorite child is the one who needs them most at the moment, which is another reason why there is no such thing as a favorite child. A child having nightmares is probably more welcome into your bed in the middle of the night than the child that is just crying for mommy, an older child that just broke up with their boyfriend/girlfriend, is going to need you more than the one who is getting ready for the millionth date. Your children will get your attention when they need it, making any children that are left out to feel like they are not the “favorite.”

Sometimes you need the attention of one child over the other. I know that if I need a hug and need to feel loved, that if I go to my youngest, she will give me the hugs and kisses that I need. If I need a friend, I can go to my oldest because she will sit with me, watch a movie, and allow me to talk while we stuff our mouths full of junk food. While my youngest does not think that she is my favorite because I have this time with my oldest, my oldest thinks the same way when I am getting the hugs and kisses from her sister.

Do parents really have a favorite child, in the majority of cases, no. In some severe cases, it is likely to happen. If one child is overly troublesome or there are some cases where the mother and child just don’t bond, and that can cause problems. However, these cases are extreme and do not relate to the majority of parents. There are times when I know my kids think they are the favorite, every parent does, but the truth is, they are only your favorite because you need what they can give you at the time. If you look at your children when you can make a practical decision, you will see that none of them are your favorite, but that each one has something about them that is your favorite.

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