by Peggy Lindgren

Created on: December 06, 2011   Last Updated: December 11, 2011

As a parent there are many things you can do to show support and help your child cope with the disappointment of a friendship breakup.  When a friendship ends it can be devastating to your child.  Since friendships build a child’s self-esteem and teaches good relationship skills, it is necessary that you consider this a serious heartache. 

Encourage other friendships

Children and teens most likely have a group they tend to hang out with on a regular basis.  Of course, there are close relationships among this group and you can encourage them to build a deeper connection with others in the group.  Offer to let them invite a friend over to the house or offer to drive them to a movie, if this is an age appropriate outing.

Older teens may have a harder time building other friendships especially if the friend has been in their life for a few years.  This is understandable and they may be hesitant to get close to another friend right away.  Give them time to sort through the situation.  Simply try and encourage them and build their self-confidence.  If you have family friends who are close in age, plan get togethers so they can be with other kids their age. 

Encourage them to be involved in school activities where they can meet other kids with similar interests.  This is also a healthy distraction and will overall help them put things in perspective.

Give them space

Give your child some space.  You may find yourself hovering and this may only drive them further away.  Let them know that you are there if they need you.  As a parent you may not know all the details of the breakup and this is okay.  Do not pry but do listen when they are ready to talk to you. Knowing when to ask questions and when to simply listen is crucial in building their trust in your parent/child relationship.

Teach accountability

Friendships end for various reasons and quite often it may be your child’s fault.  Help them to accept responsibility for their part in the friendship breakup. Encourage them to apologize for any wrong doing which caused the friendship to end.  Accepting their part will not be easy but will help them learn a tough lesson for future friendships. 

Small acts of kindness

You know what your child’s favorite treat is and this is a good time to surprise them with a chocolate shake or video game, if you can afford to do so.  A new book or a one on one outing may also do the trick.  Paying extra attention to them shows them you care about their heartache. 

Offering to help them with their chores or giving them a week off will also be appreciated.  Showing sensitivity and patience is a kind approach when they are in a tender, emotional state of mind.

In all reality, friends come and go and yet only time and maturity will teach this lesson.  Help your child during this difficult time by having compassion and understanding.  Do what you can to build their self-confidence.  Adults know time will pass and new friends will soon come along but for the child, it is a heartbreaking, life learning lesson.  Express your love for them, make them laugh and soon they will be running through the front door telling you all about their new best friend.

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