by CJ Cotter

Created on: November 28, 2011

Let's be honest: being lied to sucks. Finding out you've been lied to can ruin friendships, marriages, and businesses. Forearming yourself against this damage can seem very attractive, but should not be overestimated.

Deception detection is not exact. There's a process, including what to do once you discover someone is lying to you - because knowing that they are and knowing what the truth really is are too separate hurdles. But a little bit of research, an attentive eye, and knowledge of common indicators can go a long way to help you tell if someone is being deceptive.

- Verbal cues of lying

Even though lies are communicated verbally, words aren't always the best indicators. Lies can be practiced, rehearsed, or just difficult to sort through. But there are a few key notes to listen for.

If you ask a question, see if the person repeats it back verbatim. This is a stalling tactic that could mean he is trying to buy time to come up with something to say.

Chronological storytelling could mean that the one telling the story is lying. A true story often starts with the most exciting element and then is filled in. Someone who's been rehearsing or has no emotional investment will start at the top and list unnecessary details in order to lull you into thinking it must be true.

Being too specific when defending themselves, or being too vague when speculating are also signs. A liar will put a lot of energy into convincing you they're being honest - and then immediately stop once they believe you've fallen for it! However, when asked to speculate how, for instance, someone might have hacked into your computer, they won't be able to come up with any stories. They won't want to suggest they might know how.

Listen for overemphasis - "I'll be honest", or "I swear to God" - and lack of contractions. Being overly specific about events but distancing themselves from the act: "I did not sleep with her" versus "I don't sleep around".

Verbal cues are harder to detect if you are not familiar with the person's regular speech-pattern when telling the truth. Establish a baseline if you can. Otherwise keep the conversation casual and non-confrontational to keep them talking so you can glean the most.

- Nonverbal cues of lying

More often than not, it's the physical cues that are going to reveal the deception. Liars can rehearse and study their stories as often as they need, but they are far less likely to be able to control - or remember to pay attention to - their body language.

The key to

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