by RubyLane

Created on: November 26, 2011

It seemed such a long time ago when I heard my parents shake their heads when confronted with ill mannered people.  Then, I felt they were a little uptight and not with the flow of things.

Now 50 some years later, I am challenged with even more ill mannered and rude people – my parents would’ve sat bolt upright in their graves if they only knew how we have digressed.   Even Emily Post, the doyenne of etiquette would shake rattle and howl with disgust at today’s lack of manners.

I was taught at an early age of 4 or 5, at least from earliest memory that manners are the most important part of our being. The first introduction was ‘please’ and ‘thank you, but as one progresses with social advancing of the years, there’s a multitude of layers of good behavior. However disgruntled we are feeling, good manners must prevail.

In the last fifteen years – with the introduction of the ever evolving communication network we do have to re-evaluate what constitutes good manners.  

Thank you letters have always been on little cards, hand written and sent by post.  Now the functionary email has been reduced to an sms or one of the whatsapp application that’s on your mobile network.  Now what is really the complaint?  Its about personalizing the little things that matter.  An sms or email as much as it is well received, lacks the warmth and care that hand written notes prevail.

Accepting phone calls on the mobile, whilst having lunch, dinner or in a party setting should also be curbed. I understand today’s needs whether it be for instructions on how to get to the venue, or being in touch with children at home with a minder.  Coming from an Asian “on the go” society, years ago when mobile phones were first introduced, I happened to be at a high end gathering in London.  Expecting an international phone call, I put my mobile on the dinner table face down on vibrate.  Hoping that when the call came through I would be able to take it and remove myself from the table.   I was duly reprimanded by a distinguished gentleman of my unmistakable lack of  etiquette, having come from somewhere in Asia…..(he lobbed us altogether in one basket).   I was most embarrassed, promptly put the phone in my bag,  never took the call, presumably lost some business but now appreciate his total honesty because I ought to have known better

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