by Christopher Luke

Created on: November 24, 2011

Having being brought up in a Christian home
By loving, God-fearing, law-abiding, parents;
Father – an officer in the Royal Navy and a Methodist lay-preacher,
Mother – a Justice of the Peace and an evangelical Anglican,
And where, attendance at first Sunday School – and then Morning and Evening Worship – each Sunday was obligatory when I was home from school,

Just as no food could be consumed at meal-times until all had been served and, more importantly, grace had been said;
Whilst, in school, each day began with an act of collective Christian worship,
Belief in God in general, and the Reformed Faith in particular, did not come as strange or startling to me,
Yet, for all that, I did not come to know and accept Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour
Until attending a free church and shortly after my thirteenth birthday.

I do not know why but I do not often speak about my faith,
Not for wishing to avoid disagreeing with, or offending, others
As those who know me know only too well will know that I tend to do that regularly and subconsciously,
Whenever I spout my politically-incorrect views or disclose my homosexuality,
But, I suspect, because to me my faith is a very private matter;
And yet, without it, I doubt if I would be alive today
To tell others how I believe Jesus has not only forgiven my sins
But rescued me from pits of despair.
Firstly, when Mother died, a week before my fourteenth birthday;
Secondly, following the Provisional IRA murder of an earlier lover in the UDR;
Thirdly, from the break-up of my relationship with “Mr Right” (aka Philippe);
Fourthly, from the brink of suffering a nervous breakdown in my former profession;
Fifthly, when at times my anxiety still mentally paralyses me,
Sixthly and in the past week alone, worry over whether or not my brother will be made redundant
And my sister-in-law’s health following her recent operation,
As well as if I myself will be dismissed from my current job after saying some very unchristian words about the company and store where I work.

In each of these, and other, trials and tribulations I sense as I reflect
Jesus’s arms upholding me,
His protection and loving arms around me,
Shielding me from life’s storms even though I do not always acknowledge He is there
Or afford Him the honour, loyalty and praise deserving of His grace and mercy towards me;
As in the depths of despair it is thanks to Him
I have lived to face a new day;
And find, even now, when at times all first appears dark and cold,
He selflessly affords me Flickers of light and warmth to still my mind and rally my spirit,
To be able to face, with varying degrees of confidence and self-esteem,
The uncertainties of tomorrow.

Forgive me then, if I paraphrase John Whittier’s famous hymn and say:-

Dear Lord and Father of Mankind
Forgive my foolish ways,
Reclothe me with a will to serve,
And witness for, and to follow, you
In all my nights and days.

Drop Thy still dews of quietness,
Till all my strivings cease;
Take from my soul the strain and stress,
And let my erratic life confess
The beauty of Thy peace.

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