by Wayne Leon Learmond

Created on: November 22, 2011   Last Updated: January 17, 2012

All too often the realities of love hit home with despairing regularity. When a couple first meet they cannot get enough of each other. Indeed, they love the fact that they love what they see within their partners. This then, in the majority of cases, leads to them either living together, eventual engagement, and then marriage.

However, the problems begin as soon as a couple marry. The things they originally loved about each other fall by the wayside, as one partner tries to change the other to suit themselves. This is a regular occurrence - and happens more often then people think. In fact, were one partner believes they are doing nothing wrong at all, the other becomes resentful and angry that they are being 'controlled'. This leads to arguments if one partner thinks that the other is trying to change them into something that they are clearly not.

This actually happened to me over the years, and it eventually lead to the breakdown of my marriage. After being married for 13 years, we simply fell out of love with each other through the controlling aspect she held over me. In fact, the warning signs for me, were at the very beginning of the relationship, in which my partner tried to control the way I stood outside, to even the way I hugged her. Her control over the finances, left me without any money at all, as she began to control every aspect of my life.

Finally, I rebelled, and the arguments became vicious - not physically violent - but verbally. From the moment we decided to marry, that is when things began to go wrong, it went downhill from there on in. How it lasted for 13 years is a miracle, but little did I realize how much I was being controlled by her.

We loved each other, in our own way, and I was certainly no angel to live with either. But were my wife was extrovert, I was introvert, and although I did want to be married, I also wanted my single life and independence back, and tried to live like a single man. This, of course, caused resentment, as it would do, and so followed more arguments.

But the more I felt controlled by her, the more I rebelled. I just could not understand why she was trying to change the man that she saw in me, from the very beginning. And this is the danger of the realities of love. That each partner, if they are not careful, will try and change their other half to suit themselves.

That both the male and female will begin to look upon each other as their ‘own property’ instead of

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