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One of the key factors in building a good marriage is, of course, the selection of the right person with whom to spend the rest of your life.

With these injunctions in mind, most marriages in Eastern societies and especially amongst Muslims are usually arranged, with the consent of both boy and girl. Unfortunately, there are some minor society groups, who do not see the consent of bay and girl as necessary. However, this type of thinking only disputes the idea of arranged marriages and should not be counted under arranged marriages, but under forced marriages.

In an arrange marriage, parents or guardians arrange the marriages of their children once they reach a suitable age and level of maturity. If you have grown up in Western society, you may find this idea difficult to accept at first. But this method of mate selection has been practiced for hundreds of years and really does produce more stable and happy marriages. A comparison of divorce rates between Western society, where dating is the norm, and Islamic societies will clearly show that arranged marriages last longer and are more secure.

The reason for this is that parents or guardians usually know their child's character the best, and will try to choose a mate who is the most compatible. When a man and a woman are dating, there is the danger that the passions of the moment may overwhelm their reason and judgment. They may marry because of physical attraction only, and find incompatibilities in each other when it is too late. Physical attraction, or "being in love" can wear off quickly in the face of other problems and so lead to dissatisfaction and eventual separation. On the other hand, in an arranged marriage, physical attraction plays a minor role, and couples do not enter into marriage with the same expectation of "romantic love," but see it as a partnership where both have to make personal sacrifices and have to work at pleasing their mate. The gradual buildup of respect, trust and affection usually produces a bond between husband and wife which is stronger and more enduring than one based on physical attraction alone.

In order to understand the true concept of arranged marriages, one should follow the teachings of Islamic marriages, because these are the most successful marriages that are arranged. According to Islamic teachings, no marriage can be arranged and entered into without the consent of both man and woman. However, the woman needs a guardian or representative for the arrangement. The purpose is to safeguard her rights and to maintain her modesty. Islam allows both the man and the woman to see and talk to each other before the marriage, with a chaperon present at these meetings.

Learn more about this author, Shamma B S.
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