by Andrews Victor

Created on: November 20, 2011

As a parent you are bound to reach a stage where you start wondering whether you are being a “good parent” to your children and if you could find help on how to improve your parenting skills. Raising a child is a 24/7 challenge marked by periods of frustration and desperation – as also moments of joy and exhilaration. Being a parent is tough enough; many would consider the tag “perfect parent” a misnomer.

However, if you are looking for ways on how to improve your parenting skills, then it is safe to assume that you are either seeking alternative choices on how to bring up your children or are keen on adding value to the skills you have already picked up instinctively along the way. Alternatively, things might have seemed to be going swimmingly well when all of a sudden life throws you a curve ball and you are filled with self-doubts.

The following basic guidelines may help you become a better, or effective, parent.

Identify your child:

Before you don the mantle of parenting it is advisable that you first categorize your child. Each child is different and which parenting strategy you adopt will largely depend on the characteristics of your child. Skills needed to handle a child are subjective to the kind of child you are dealing with. So, first establish whether he/she is obedient, submissive, angry, stubborn, disruptive, rebellious, anxious, boisterous, lazy or a special needs child.

Choose your technique:

This will determine the effectiveness of your parenting. Be too authoritarian and heavy-handed and you risk rebellion and perhaps alienation. On the other hand, if you are too permissive or liberal your child may grow with the feeling that “anything goes”. In the absence of any clear guidelines to follow, it is best to plow the middle furrow in such cases. Be more accommodating to begin with but assert your authority when you feel things are getting out of hand. Also remember, if you have two children a common strategy may not work on both of them.

Be firm and stable:

Whichever strategy you decide to adopt vis-à-vis parenting, make sure you adhere to it. A wavering parent is seen by a child as a weak parent. To belabor an oft-repeated cliché: Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you have set some ground rules don’t deviate from them and enforce discipline without exception. Get the message across that rules are not meant to be broken. Also, be consistent in your responses.

Be quick to adapt:

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