by Eric Bailey

Created on: November 07, 2011   Last Updated: May 08, 2012

So you and the girf are havin’ some rough spots when you think to yourself, boy, I sure could use a top 5 ways to break up with your girlfriend list right about now. Lucky for you, such a thing has been written, and it goes approximately as follows:

1. Text

After all, why get involved with all those “feelings” and face-to-face hassles? Considering that such wanton displays of emotion are part of the reason why you are no longer attracted to her, it might just be the best idea to keep this break-up as detached and impersonal as possible. The last thing you need is to actually see her cry, since she does it too much as it is.

2. Card

But for those of you gentlemen out there who are not completely cruel and heartless, there is another option that is impersonal without requiring face-to-face interaction that keeps a touch of tact intact: The greeting card. Even if you have difficulty finding the section for break-up cards, just grab a blank or even a “thinking of you” and write your own custom message inside. This provides you with the opportunity to perform this little send-off in style, and proactively deal with her inevitable broken heart through the soothing power of clever wording.

3. The Sandwich Method

Customer service departments at the largest corporations worldwide are trained in The Sandwich Method as perhaps the best technique for conveying bad news to someone, a tactic that holds perhaps the best chance of causing the least upset reaction. Basically, it works like this: Give a compliment, then break up, then give good news. There are countless ways to implement this strategy, all of which fare much better than simply dropping the b-bomb. For example, you could say, “Wow, the weather outside is so beautiful today; but, of course, not as beautiful as you. Which is why it is so hard for me to break up with you. But now you will be free to pursue those admirable passions of yours.”

4. Genuine, Private, Face-to-Face Conversation

Well, there’s that.

5. Facebook

Ah, the social media giant Facebook – great for interpersonal communication, photo-sharing, announcements, and other means, including break-ups. Facebook has to make the list of the top 5 ways to break up with your girlfriend for two big reasons: Firstly, because doing so in a status update has the secondary advantage of also instantly alerting all your family and friends to the break-up as well, thus avoiding the hassle of having to let them all know by other means; and, secondly, changing your relationship status on Facebook makes it completely official.

There you have it: The top 5 ways to break up with your girlfriend. If you are researching these tips because you will need to put them to use soon, then good luck, because a break-up can be a messy thing with dire consequences for all involved.

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