by Lynn Edwards

Created on: November 04, 2011   Last Updated: May 01, 2012

If you cannot be happy by yourself, you can't be truly happy with other people.  After all, if you don't like being with you, why should anyone else?

When you live alone, you make all the rules and it is up to you to follow the best of them.  Treat yourself as your own guest.  Keep your home clean and neat, if that pleases you, or as messy as it may be for you to be comfortable.  The choice is yours.  However, eating off the good china in the dining room and minding your manners is a good way to build a healthy self-respect that carries over into your dealings with others.

Take yourself places.  Of course, it is more fun when you can share experiences, but being alone does not mean you have to be lonely.  Keep your mind on what you're doing.  Enjoy the experience you are having whether it be a nice walk, a trip to a museum, a concert, movie, or even (gasp!) dinner at a nice restaurant.

For most single people, it is eating out that is the hardest hurdle to overcome.  However, if you adhere to the concept that you are your own best friend, there is nothing to be ashamed of in treating yourself to a good meal.  You might want to try eating lunch alone first, if such a thought is daunting, for there will be single office workers doing the same.  Dinner solo is best taken early, before a restaurant gets too busy. 

Although there are those who hide behind a book when forced to eat alone, you do not have to be such a coward.  Notice the furnishings of the establishment you're patronizing, absorb its ambiance, and be open to any conversation your server may initiate.  If you don't look pitiful, strangers will be far less likely to feel sorry for you.

Once you have conquered eating at a restaurant by yourself, it's a short move to traveling solo.  There are dozens of web sites devoted to the single traveler, or, better yet, you can take off on your own.  After all, one of the greatest advantages of being responsible only for yourself is that you're free to do whatever you want when you want.

Sure, there will be times when you want to share your experiences with someone and there's no one there.  When those moods descend, a good way to banish them is to write your views down in a journal. 

When you're troubled about having no one to talk to, read a magazine article or short story aloud.  You'll become so intent on speaking clearly that you'll soon forget yourself in the words you are uttering.  Plus, you'll be providing some well needed exercise for your rusty vocal chords. 

Being a solitary individual can be a rewarding inner journey.  Just cherish what you do have, and treat as insignificant what you do not.

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