by Natasha L. Kohlhoff Polak

Created on: September 21, 2011

Being spoiled is something that can happen to anyone, not just only children.  Just as in families where there is only one girl in a house of boys, or one boy amidst girls, everyone has a chance of turning out spoiled.  It all depends on how they are raised.  Oftentimes it is the PARENTS who are spoiled, not the children, so that sometimes there are misconceptions about how their children behave.

 
Looking at it from another angle, only children will never have quite the same level of interaction with their peers as children who have siblings.  Therefore, they compensate by having an increased level of self-awareness, that if indulged at-will, can present as a problem similar to being spoiled.  Without careful discipline and mentoring, only children can disregard the needs of others, live in their own "bubble" of how they view the world, and think that because their parents were able to do so much for them, it made them somehow MORE special than their peers, as if it put THEM at an advantage over their peers.  With that mindset, it is easy to see how they can act superiorly and are truly spoiled.
 
To sway only children from becoming spoiled, it is important for parents and other advocates in their lives to allow these children the chance to interact with their peers in groups and one-on-one at every opportunity.  And while they might prefer their own company, they have less time to become spoiled if they are focused on a shared interest with peers, where they will also learn how to work as part of a team.

Another way to distract only children from being spoiled is to expose them to the less fortunate.  Get involved in helping others in need.  This can be done through your place of worship, or with your local community.  Volunteering your time for a worthy cause is a great family activity, with life-long lessons to be had.  And since only children take much more of their experiences to heart than other children, the benefits of doing so will not be lost on them.

Being well-rounded is key to shaping only children's lives.  Therefore, only children should also be given the opportunity to fail.  It can be hard for parents to let that happen, especially if it means your child can experience pain or loss in the process, but it is better for it to be NOW rather than it being something even worse in adulthood.  Your only child can actually grow to resent you in the long-run and become rebellious

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