by Tony Chuks Modungwo

Created on: September 19, 2011

Violence in the domestic sphere is usually perpetrated by men who are, or who have been, in positions of trust and intimacy and respect – husbands, boyfriends, fathers, fathers-in-law, stepfathers, brothers, uncles etc. domestic violence is not confirmed to any one socioeconomic, ethnic, religious, racial or age group and knows no geographic or educational boundaries.

Mrs. Okolo had heard many stories about married life and about how some husbands use belts and wives used the pestle in fight but believed that that would never happen in her marriage. Her husband had got her beaten many times for matters that could have been amicably discussed.

In one of the situations, her husband rained blows on her head for asking why he came late from the office. She fainted. When she woke she threaded her fingers into the tangles at the back of her head, searching the whole of her skull for lumps. She felt sore, but no lumps, and no broken skin. Even the throbbing seemed to have quieted to a dull ache. Her jaw still smarted, but that was to be expected. Other than a brief loss of consciousness she was fine.

On another occasion after a few minutes argument, Mr. Okolo’s fist connected with her jaw. Blinding pain, then another starburst as her head snapped back and smashed into the wall behind her. And then nothing. She felt someone pressing a damp cloth to her forehead, smoothing it down her aching jaw.

“Eunice, please wake up.”

The voice was low, broken, but it was definitely that of her husband. When she groaned and opened her eyes she heard what sounded like fervent thanks to the Almighty swirled into her ears. She swallowed thickly as the cloth disappeared and was immediately replaced by warm lips brushing her own lips. Mr. Okolo quit hitting his wife afterward for fear he might kill her one day.

Some men never stop. A woman told me, “I had to leave my husband. He beat me such that my life was in danger.”

Another woman still complained, “Our three years old son broke my husband’s radio. He got me beaten up and I was hospitalized. He thinks he is right to beat me any time he likes. My parents tell me to be patient but I’m tired of being beaten and I have decided to divorce him.”

Mrs. Jones escaped her abusive husband. She went to the police and filed reports. But Mr. Jones had a long reach. The police dismissed her accusations, just as Mr. Jones’ family and their family friends had. Mr. Jones had money, power

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