by Adele Gregory

Created on: September 18, 2011   Last Updated: December 06, 2011

You’ll know them by the holes in their doughnuts and their half-empty cups. While everyone else in the office is embracing blue sky thinking, a negative team member will be looking for the clouds. Negative people at work may be pessimistic, cynical or both but working alongside them doesn’t haven’t to be all doom and gloom.

Someone who habitually complains or finds fault might not be able to snap out of it because they are genuine unhappy or depressed. For others, it steps from the simmering resentment of an ongoing conflict. But ironically, griping is a device some people use to bond. It may be an attempt to rally folk round against a common workplace enemy. In other cases, a person can avoid being positive so as not to appear big headed or make less successful people feel bad. But you’re they’re co-worker, not their psychiatrist and you don’t need to get to the root of the problem to shield yourself from its effects.

The Main Do and Don’t
There are two basic guidelines in coping with a negative person at work: Do stay true to your own feelings and voice them as a personal opinion (“I” statements) and don't get drawn into debates about whether things are inherently good or bad (“It” statements).

A typical “it” conversation might go something like this”
“That training was awful”
“That’s not true, there were a lot of helpful tips in it”
“Yes, but here are the bad parts and they are worse…..”
“Yes, but here are the good parts and they are better….”
This conversation can quickly become a see-sawing argument that winds both parties up and never reaches a resolution.

Contrast it with an approach that stresses personal taste or opinion with “I statements”:
“That training was awful”
“I quite enjoyed it”
“I didn’t. I thought it could have been a lot better”
“I thought….. could have been better, but I liked….. and I’m going to try and see how it works in practice”

People often make the mistake of trying to counter someone’s negativity by being overly positive and glossing over any shortcomings. This not only sets up a debate, it forces the “positive” person into a position that’s just as unrealistic as the negative one and may not be true to their own feelings. Most situations are a mix of good and bad and it does no

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>