by Dawn Hawkins

Created on: August 30, 2011   Last Updated: September 02, 2011

Verbal abuse and bullying have many things in common. Verbal abuse preys on a family member where bullying preys on random people, such as school children picking on each other. That is where uncommon ground ends for these two viscous behaviors. In all other aspects, verbal abuse and bullying are similar in action and result.

Similarities between verbal abuse and bullying:

Mental abuse- Verbal abuse and bullying are mental abuse. These actions cause great distress on the victims. The mental anguish a victim goes through under both circumstances causes lifelong issues. These issues include low self-esteem and difficulty in relationships. It can take years to overcome the damage done by verbal abuse and bullying.

Consistent/constant- Verbal abuse and bullying are both consistent and constant. Neither one gives the victim a break. The perpetrator goes after the victim on a daily basis. The victim must completely move him or herself away from the perpetrator for the verbal abuse or bullying to stop.

Control- Bullying and verbal abuse are about control. The perpetrator feels the need to control the other person through their actions. Belittling someone else makes the offender feel better about him or herself. When the offender batters the victim with his or her words, he or she gains control.

Reliance on words- Both offenses rely on words to hurt the other person. Words sometimes hurt much worse than physical abuse. The intention of the offender is to hurt the victim as much as possible with as many words as possible. The offender finds out where the victims self-esteem is lowest and he or she goes relentlessly at it. The more self-esteem issues the victim has, the better for the offender.

Victim type- The victim of both types of offenses is usually someone who has many self-esteem issues. It does not matter where these issues come from, as long as the victim has them. The victim seldom fights back because they easily believe what the perpetrator tells them.

Both can be overcome- Although it does not feel like it, verbal abuse and bullying can be overcome. The first thing necessary to overcome these abuses is to have the desire to end it. It does not have to continue out of control. The first step is to seek help where available. Help is available at schools or local social services offices. A good counselor helps the victim outline the problem areas and come to proper solutions. The victim can gain control again.

Verbal abuse and bullying are two different things with like actions. Both can destroy a person’s self-esteem for the rest of their lives. Fighting back against either one takes power away from the perpetrators and puts it back in the hands of the victim. Take the first step in resolving the issues by seeking counseling as soon as possible.

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