by Mona Gallagher

Created on: August 19, 2011   Last Updated: September 01, 2011

Is jealousy a normal part of being in love or is it more than a transitory feeling that comes with wanting exclusive attention of a loved one?

Families, marriages, and friendships are torn apart when jealous feelings and harsh expressions of anger dominate the dynamics of personal relationships. Often, the jealous party is aware of what he or she is doing but feels helpless to stop the behavior. Sometimes therapy is the answer when the behavior is out of control, but for others learning to cope with this behavior, there are tips that help with working on controlling jealousy.

Jealousy is an emotional reaction that alters personal relationships if not held in check. In mild versions, it is not very harmful, but when its in severe form, it can be devastating to relationships without meaning to be. Its impact is keenly felt in those relationships most coveted and sought after in life. Sometimes it seems the jealous person is clutching at something that is perceived to be just beyond reach: a hearts desire.

Awareness of what is going on in the inner world of thoughts and feelings, as well as reactive behavior offers a good foundation for growing new skills and life practices. For example, jealous behavior is often expressed with angry words and harsh accusations. People understand this kind of behavior drives people away instead of bringing them closer. Driving loved ones away is the opposite of what the heart desires.

It is ever so tempting to look to your loved ones and wish for them to change their behavior. If only they would call when they're going to be late or if they wouldn't do this or go there, there would be no jealousy. The truth is, some loved ones are more inconsiderate in their attitudes and behavior. Yet, not everyone resorts to jealous feelings when they are late for dinner.

Own your emotional responses:

Emotions and feelings are your personal property and responsibility. If you are the jealous partner, it's up to you to take ownership of your emotions and sort through them. Ideally, you want to keep whats good and true in your relationships while getting rid of the toxicity that comes from jealous bouts and tirades; the stuff that keeps your emotions in conflict.

Controlling jealousy means having self-awareness, perception, and a desire to let go of destructive behavior. That sounds straightforward enough, but if it was easy, everyone would conquer jealous behavior and move on to healthy interaction with loved ones. Because jealousy originates

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