by Marissa Meleske

Created on: August 18, 2011   Last Updated: August 19, 2011

When there is a problem, the first thing people will do is deny it. That is one of the main reasons an addict stays in their addiction for so long. For a long time, they will deny that they even have a problem. The same can be said for a family with many issues. Some families that appear to be the "perfect family" or the "All American Family", couldn't be further from it. However, what does that solve? The answer is, it doesn't solve anything.  

If you are unaware of something, it will not phase you and you will see no reason to fix it. You can't fix a problem that you don't see exists. You will only continue to express the ultimate extremes of denial. That is why the first step to fixing a problem, has to be admitting that there is a problem. Then comes whether or not you are willing to fix it. Many cross addicted addicts have a problem with this, albeit people addicted to one thing do as well, because many times they will only be ready to get clean off of one substance at a time. That really defeats the purpose, because it is just going to make them more dependant on the drug they are still using and abusing. For example, let's say you are an alcoholic and drug addict. You may feel so ashamed that you are using such a serious drug, that you will try to keep it a secret as best you can. If you don't admit to using it, let alone that it is a problem, then there is no way you are going to get help for it. In fact, once you get sober from the alcohol, it may make you more dependent on the drug, in turn making the other addiction worse. That is why, if you are not ready to get clean off of any and everything you are abusing, there is a much higher probability of relapsing. In fact, it is guaranteed that you will relapse. The other drug becomes your crutch, and you will need more of it to compensate for the alcohol or whatever it is you are coming off of. In situations like this, where you are ashamed to admit to yourself and others that you have a problem, there is no point in going for help for another issue. First you need to come completely out of your denial and be ready to completely turn everything in your life around.  

If you pretend that something is not happening, or that something doesn't exist, there is no way to fix it. You must acknowledge that something is wrong, before you are able to make attempts at making it right. The Twelve Steps explains it better than any of us can. The first two steps must happen consecutively.  

1. We admitted we were powerless over (insert drug of choice)—that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 

You must admit that there is a problem, so that you are then able to begin the journey of fixing it. Nothing will change if you keep denying that there is a problem. Be honest with yourself, God and your loved ones, and you can be on the road to recovery. Find the courage to change the things you can.

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