by Rhonda Nieman

Created on: March 20, 2007   Last Updated: May 05, 2007

Strategies for bonding with oppositional teenagers

I suppose it would definitely depend on what type of oppositional teenager we are talking about. Teenagers will more than likely not agree with everything that you say *gasp* and dare I further say they will sometimes even look for things to butt heads with you about. Don't be discouraged. You should realize that most likely this is because they are merely trying to be themselves. I'm not saying that this is not important, it's just one of the many things that your teenager will be doing to leave their own footprint in this world.

I have found that usually the child that has the most in common with a particular parent, this is the pair that will fuss, fight, and argue the most. I haven't done any long, drawn out studies on the issue; that's just the way it's always been in my home. My daughter and my husband act just alike. They have a lot of the same mannerisms and thought processes. My son and I share some very similar qualities as well. Have you ever heard the sayings, "They're just alike, that's why they don't get along"? or "Opposites attract"? There is a certain amount of truth to this. It is possible that perhaps you and your child argue because you share too many of the same personality traits. If this is the case, relax; it's not the end of the world. When your child was younger they enjoyed being like their mom or dad; but now they are trying to be independent and trying to figure out who they are. It's possible that they get aggravated when they realize they think like you do. I'm not 100% sure about this, but I think it's a major no-no in a teenager's life for this to happen.

Remember that not every disagreement is cause for overreaction on your part. If you find that your teenager is starting to act or think the way that you do it is possible for you to change your tactics when trying to help. As a matter of fact, it's most likely that you would know better than anyone what your child needs to hear. Just imagine yourself in their situation, now what would you want someone to say to you? What would you most need to hear at that time? You already know the answer, hence you know how to help them the most. Use this to your advantage and try to guide your teenager to the best possible solution to whatever is bothering them.

If however your teenager is being "over the top" with their attitude, you should be ready to put a stop to this type of behavior. These are teenagers we're talking about here. They

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