by David Hornestay

Created on: August 07, 2011   Last Updated: August 12, 2011

No one should be subjected to verbal abuse in the workplace.  There are three ways to help a co-worker who is the victim of this type of abuse:

1) Giving immediate comfort, emotional support and advice;

2) Helping to determine if there are any facts explaining, although not justifying, the abuse; and

3) Interceding  with the abuser or higher-ups to eliminate the abuse.

First Aid

You should immediately show the co-worker that you consider verbal abuse unacceptable and that you value him or her as a person and as an associate.  You can share experiences of your own or others and assure the co-worker that verbal abuse from one supervisor, colleague or customer is not fatal to a career or a job.

As soon as the work situation permits, you should offer to accompany the co-worker on a refreshment break, a walk around the block, or suggest a visit to an employee relations counselor.

Analysis

Some abuse results from problems of the abuser, some from misunderstandings, and some, at least in part, from deficiencies in the work or conduct of the victim.  While  abusive words are always an inappropriate overreaction, it is a service to both your co-worker and your organization to help determine if the incident was triggered by something that was done wrong.

After your abused co-worker has cooled off or calmed down, you should offer to review the incident with him to ascertain whether the abusive words, improper as they were, might have been triggered by any actual unsatisfactory work product or behavior that would be correctable.  You shouldn’t push yourself too hard into this situation, rather urging  him to take time to reflect on the incident and what preceded it, or to consult a third party, but to make yourself available if he feels comfortable with you in that role.

Incidentally, if the abuser was a supervisor or fellow worker, your joint analysis should consider whether that person, based on history and personality, would be the right one for your co-worker to meet with to get at the causes of the incident and, hopefully, to reconcile.

Interceding

An innocent victim of verbal abuse is sometimes too traumatized to renew contact with the abuser.  In this case, and depending on your standing in the organization, you could consider presenting his situation to the supervisor or other associate.  In the rare case in which the supervisor is the guilty party and has a track record for abuse, it may be necessary to go higher in the organization to have it made clear that  verbal abuse will not be tolerated.

Since this type of intervention has the potential to magnify and spread the problem, it should be undertaken only as a last resort with the advice and/or support of disinterested third parties like human resources or employee-counseling staff.

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