by Stella Kaye

Created on: August 11, 2011   Last Updated: November 24, 2011

Monopoly Madness

Who’d have thought it? Those oh, so innocent games of Monopoly we used to play in your bedroom. It had always been my favourite game. I’m not so sure now - how about you?

‘You cheapskate!’ You’d accuse me when I’d buy up all the less desirable property on Old Kent Road and Whitechapel and sometimes I’d win even when you owned the more salubrious property on Mayfair and Park Lane. I loved swapping all the little green houses for red hotels and setting them up in a neat row on the board - a Monopoly magnate in the making.

Neither of us was ever guilty of cheating; in fact you didn’t have much of a business brain and you’d often lose because you forgot to ask for the rent or you’d buy up all the railway stations and utilities first and not be able to build up a property portfolio fast enough.

When we got fed up with London street names we‘d play ‘Star Wars’ Monopoly instead - now that was a refreshing change. You could say it was ‘Out of this world’ if it wasn’t such a dreadful cliché. Establishing a property empire with Galactic credits was much more fun than boring old pounds.

That kid who caused all the trouble for you; he sometimes played Monopoly with us in your bedroom too - now there’s a sobering thought.

Just before you went away we left an unfinished game in the box with a little list of who owned what and where on the board and how much Monopoly money we both had. We vowed to finish that game eventually. Do you remember? All those years ago when we thought our lives might take a turn for the better. Seems like the dice was loaded against us doesn’t it? It’s still there that Monopoly box gathering dust in a cupboard somewhere with that crumpled little list of ownership. I was an iron and you were a top hat.  

When I started playing Monopoly for real, what a learning process that was. I’ve had tenants who won’t pay the rent and umpteen mortgages to meet. Every month is just like going round the Monopoly board but no-one gives me two hundred pounds each time, like when you pass go in the game. All I get is a load of bills for repairs and maintenance at the end of the month and there’s permanent panic that the rent will be paid on time before the mortgages go out.

Everyone despises a landlord - nobody told me that to start with. It’s so hard to win when everyone else is cheating. I soon came

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