by Das Govind

Created on: August 11, 2011   Last Updated: December 21, 2011

There is a saying that goes something like, 'Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me'.

True to a certain extent as words can never physically hurt a person, but words spoken in a callous and harsh tone can leave emotional scars for life which can take years to heal. Emotional injury can affect a person at very deep levels, some say almost reaching the level of the soul; however lightly we may think of it as just some '' wee'' words spoken.

Verbal bullying in the workplace is becoming an increasing common problem. It's bad enough to be the victim of such abuse, but what if you know of a colleague at work who is being verbally abused by a work bully or some senior official. You may not want to get involved directly as bullies are trouble, and it could cost you your job if you get caught up in the middle. Well, most people will just turn a blind eye and walk away from the situation hoping that they will not be the next target of this vicious bully. It's only human nature to be passive, but what if you had sincere concern for the victim?

Here are some tips on helping a co-worker deal with verbal abuse:

1. Talk to the victim. Try to be understanding, and find out the reason as to why he/she may be getting picked on by the bully.

2. Use soothing words, and remind the victim that you are there if he/she needs someone to talk to or a shoulder to lean on.

3. The victim is being picked on because the bully sees him/her as being weaker than him/her. This can show on the outside by a lack of self confidence and self esteem by the victim. Try to empower the victim by making him/her feel worthwhile, and also giving him/her tips on how to be more assertive. Assertive body language can be a big help in beating a bully at his/her own game.

4. The victim will need to assert him/herself more. There is a danger that if the victim is very passive he/she may one day 'explode' at the slightest thing the bully says, and this can lead to a full blown office fight, getting the poor victim suspended and even costing the victim his/her job.

5. Encourage the victim to talk to his/her supervisor about  the verbal abuse. Educate the victim about employee rights, trade unions, and office politics. If the supervisor tuns a blind eye to the verbal abuse, then the victim should consult his/her shop steward and try to get results.

6. Explain the terms, mediation, arbitration and conciliation. The victim may need to understand that verbal abuse is serious in the workplace environment and that he/she may have to sit with the bully and try to sort things out one-on-one with the help of a third party. Victims of bullying can also see a trained psychologist and talk about the verbal abuse. He/She can get a medical note to say that he/she is suffering from work related stress as a result of verbal abuse if applicable. This can be used as evidence in a disciplinary hearing.

Bullies try  to make themselves feel big by verbally abusing and belittling people they feel are weaker than themselves. It is important that a victim of bullying develops a certain degree of confidence and stands up for his/her rights.

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