by Melody Hearndon

Created on: August 11, 2011   Last Updated: September 12, 2011

The word no is such a minuscule word, powerful for some yet terrifying for others. When faced with the choice to say yes or no to a response or request, no should be one's word of affirmation. For some, the word no is intimidating, for others it’s a way of controlling another. Is it easier to say “yes” because you would rather not offend someone even though you know the decision to say no would have been what’s best?

Sense of entitlement

Being known as the “yes” person gives others a sense of entitlement to you on many levels. You automatically become the “go to person” and without so much as a second of hesitation, your good nature and ease of accessibility are used unfairly against you.

Sometimes we must stand up to those that take us for granted. At first, you’re in unfamiliar territory. It’ll seem odd, unnatural and frightening in the beginning, but the end result will be your sense of what’s right, instead of what’s easiest. The word no can do that.

Boundaries

No is the perfect word to let others know you have boundaries. Boundaries are extremely important in our day to day living and throughout our lives. Without boundaries in place, we end up in uncomfortable situations and have only ourselves to blame.

Boundaries are our own perimeter’s that we’ve established so as to live within our means, albeit personal space, professional interaction, or financial responsibility. Other’s will respect you for the ability to set forth limits, and perhaps learn from your example. The word no can do that.

Empowerment

The word no can be empowering. Taking back ones sense of honor, self-worth, and self-respect can start with just one simple word…No! Does that entitle one to be rude? Does that mean one can be condescending to others? Absolutely not! The word no is meant to be used responsibly and respectfully.

Are you someone that says yes when you really want to say no? Do you feel pressured to be a people pleaser, or to be liked so you do the opposite of what you truly feel? Part of what your feeling is normal, but doing the right thing, for the right reason should always outweigh the reason one feels unnecessary pressure.

In conclusion

We are responsible for what we say and for what we do. Part of that responsibility comes when we learn to say no…firmly yet with kindness. When using the word no with arrogance or a sense of control or entitlement, one loses all credibility. Using the word no improperly can do that.

When saying no, take into consideration the cost not only to you, but to the one you’re saying no too. It’s easy to get caught up in the word no itself, but one can also lose sight of the bigger picture and view you as un-approachable. Are you willing to pay such a price all because of the minuscule word…no!

Choose your words carefully. 

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