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The Doom of Hollywood-Marriages

I was reading the David De Angelo's Double-Your-Dating Newsletter, & I saw Hollywood-weddings' dooms within the ways of attracting women:

"How Attraction Works For WOMEN

"... generally speaking, for a woman, ATTRACTION is a PROCESS ... not an "event". It happens over time, and it becomes stronger or weaker depending upon how well the man in the situation understands how it works.

"... So, think of a woman's "Attraction Mechanism" more like a volume knob than a light switch...."

This tells me a few things. A few things that can be summed up in this statement: You don't get married because you like the spouse!.

That should bring up a few questions (put so simply). The first would be something like, "Y`uh mean y`uh gotta marry sumone y`uh don't like?"

Not exactly.

I don't expect you'd like to meet 'someone you didn't like,' and she wouldn't like meeting you either. Besides, single people are way funner to get to know ... (or is that 'way-funner' or 'way-more-fun' or 'way-fun-more-so!' ).

But whether you like them or not, you're not living with 'the single person' when you get married; you live with the spousethe person indentured to you for eternitythe gladly-shackled slave.

In essence, marriage eradicates two 'single people.' Announcing the marriage, they'll tell you that there is a new entity that arises in place of the two single peoplesomething "better" than the two single peoplethe fairy-tale "happy marriage" (mythical, like good sex).

But any divorcee will tell you "it's not that easy." You don't just 'like the girl a lot, and decide that she likes you a lot, and so-on-and-so-forth, and you're happily married forever.' Oh, that's how it looks in good times (on the island of love in the ocean of insecurity and hardship); but the wedding isn't the end of the marriage, it's just the beginning.

But the thrill is in the chase. That's why Hollywood-marriages (the ones we're "always" hearing about) end up so badly-actors are a sadly boring bunch without the pre-party paparazzi, and married actors lose the 'who will he show up with'-buzz the PR-staffs rely on to hype up their stars!...

*JONI'S BIZNAZZ* commented, "GIRLS and WOMEN are oceans apart in the way they deal with the opposite sex.

"WOMEN - especially divorced mothers - have no time for silly games. A man is attractive if he is responsible, is a good daddy to his own child/children (suits up/shows up/pays child support if he has less than 50% custody of the child - NO MATTER WHAT kind of relationship he has with his ex & mother of his child/children). Must be intelligent, funny, helpful with childcare, housework and yardwork (if they both work). Hopefully, he makes enough - and she has a home business - so that the children can be adequately cared for - aren't raised in daycare - or latchkey kids running the asylum.

"Divorce - remarriage - and DIVORCE - is a GINORMOUS painful lessons (I should know - I never married for the "right" reasons - The first time - I was so young - I couldn't even balance a checkbook - let alone manage a family budget & two children - the second time I was desperate for a daddy for my daughter - who's real father took off and our marriage was anulled).

"It is a MIRACLE - that we all made up, all parties get along well and children are happy.

"Some GIRLS have to experience more pain in their lives from glomming onto the "wrong" guys before they become grateful for the the "right" guys.

"You're a nice guy.

"Stay that way and keep working toward your goals.

"Someday a real good woman will truly appreciate you." on Tuesday, November 22, 2005 at 12:16 AM

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