by Timothy Dumont Jr.

Created on: August 03, 2011

So there you are in a loving relationship when all of a sudden an argument erupts between your close friend and your lover. The argument escalates as days pass until one day you're put in a position where you must choose between your friend and your lover. At this point you feel conflicted, on one hand you have your close friend and on the other you have the person you love. So how do you deal with this dilemma?

A friend as well as your lover should never feel that your happiness is less important than your relationship with them. If you're happy with your lover then your friend should never ask you to choose between both of them and visa versa. Before you take any steps you should impress this to your friend and your lover. Explain to them that you enjoy both of their company and feel that it's not fair of them to make you choose. 

If this doesn't work then you need to start thinking about yourself. It's not healthy for you to be forced to make such a choice and whatever person you do choose will change your feelings for the other drastically. You'll always feel resentment toward them because of the choice they made you make. You'll have lost an important person in your life and after you choose one person over another it's nearly impossible to get the same relationship back even if the relationship with the one you chose doesn't work out.

This doesn't mean that there's nothing you can do, it just means you can't choose. The only solution is to figure out who is willing to put aside their ego to preserve their relationship with you. Get both parties together and explain to them politely that they are both equally important. Tell them that you will not be choosing between the two and that they both have a choice to make; they can either put aside their issues and keep their relationship with you or you want nothing to do with them.

At this point you have to be prepared for one of them to say goodbye, because they might choose that. However, if they really care about their relationship with you then they will choose to push past the difficulties and preserve their relationship. It's your life to choose who's in it and the second you let someone else choose who you have in your life is the same second that you are no longer in control.

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