by Elvina C.

Created on: August 03, 2011

Every living being is given an equal amount of time. We all have 24 hours per day, 7 days per week, 365 days per year, and extra one day in every 4 years. Even with such blessings, human beings still ungratefully complain about having not enough time.

Let’s be honest with yourself; how often do you appreciate and able to manage your time wisely throughout your living basis? How well do you think you deserve to be given more time than any other living beings? There’s always this unconscious greed living within you. And this little greed is big enough to cover your sense of appreciation. Only until you’re given your last 24 hours to live, you wouldn’t realize how precious time truly is.

As the imperfect being that I am, with no doubt I had adopted that greediness. However greedy I’d become, there will always be the last 24 hours reserved. And I often wonder what I would do during that last moment of living. I have, in many ways, disgraced myself as a human being, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a girlfriend, a lover, a wife, and a child of God. If that moment of last breath truly strikes, there’s only one thing I would do – to ask for forgiveness.

Certainly, I am the perfectly imperfect being who made numerous mistakes, and there’s no reason to regret upon and soak in it. For as long as I have lived, my biggest mistake is being dishonest. To me, I am a sinner of lies. Being dishonest is disgraceful. It is my true guilt that weights me down throughout my days of living.

To begin with, I would ask for God’s forgiveness for being a dishonest child for abandoning Him sometimes in my days of happiness.  Then, I would apologize to my parents for sometimes I lied about whom I’ve been going out with, and would create imaginary friends as a ticket to stay away from the house. Moving on, I shall ask for forgiveness from my soul mate that I had been unfaithful to him. Never to forget my apology to my siblings and friends, for sometimes when I tried to avoid from seeing them or to stay out from their troubles or when they asked for help, I would create lies to keep myself in a safe distance. For my final breath, I believe it is important to ask for forgiveness from my physical body, my mind, and my soul, for those times that I had not been taken good care of them.

Maybe to some people, what I would do in my final 24 hours of life is too holy and spiritual, and might tell me that I could’ve asked for something materialistic or realistic. Since it would be the last hours of my life, I realize that it is meaningless to fulfill materialistic dream in the physical world. So, I choose to repent for my mistakes and in hope to search for peace within my soul.

If any human beings on earth ever give themselves a little time to ponder, they shall realize that to recite the words “I’m sorry” are simple, yet it is difficult to express sincerely. And I’d always believe that forgiveness may only be a small word, but it gives great salvation.

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