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Humor: Trick or treating

by Ronnie Egerton

Created on: August 02, 2011   Last Updated: October 26, 2011

Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. I usually decorate my house weeks ahead and really do it up right. So, I guess it's no surprise that my youngest son, Justin, is as fervent about the day as I am. From the time he was old enough to go trick or treating, he became diabolical about it. As a toddler, his eyes would glaze over and God help you if you got in between him and the one dispensing the candy on that unholy night.

In every other respect he was a kind, sweet natured kid, but on Halloween he took on a completely different persona. I always made his costumes and he was always ecstatic about them. When he was  three I made him a little red devil costume, complete with tail, horns and pitchfork. I Covered his face with deep red makeup and added little soot splotches to his normally cherubic face. To be honest. he looked pretty evil and scared some of the neighbors children. Since he wasn't in school yet, we took him to a costume contest at a school in my mother's neighborhood. He pranced right up on that stage, amongst a throng of strangers, and was thoroughly teed off because he didn't win first prize.

Every year was the same. His costumes got better and better and he was always a crazed trick or treater. He didn't even like candy that much. It was just the thrill of the hunt.

One year when Justin was eight, something unthinkable happened in our neighborhood. A local man laced Pixi Stix candy with poison and put it in his own children's trick or treat bags. He also gave it to several other children, as they were out trick or treating in their area. His own son died, but the others' hadn't eaten any of theirs, when the announcement went out on the local TV. The evil man had heavily insured his children and pulled this dastardly caper for the insurance money. He was tried, convicted and sentenced to death. He was known as the Candy Man, and single-handedly ruined trick or treating for children in Texas, to this day.

I mention this story because it drastically affected every one's trick or treating, especially my son's.  Almost all the shopping malls in our area began having trick or treating as a way of giving something, supposedly safe, to the community and helping themselves in the process. All the kids that used to go door to door, now went to the mall. Each store had employees, in costume giving out candy.

That was the year that Justin had an appendectomy five days before Halloween. He was fit to be tied. He wasn't really afraid of the surgery. He just made the doctor promise him that he would be out of the hospital in time for trick or treating. I think his costume that year was a mad scientist, complete with white lab coat, a gray frazzled fright wig, and lab rats in his pockets. God Bless him. He really didn't have all his strength back, but was determined to go. I can still see his little demented face, with those glazed over "gimmee" eyes dragging through that mall with his sack of candy in tow.

Cut to Halloween, 2010. Justin is thirty years old and working in a Physical Therapy Clinic. His boss wants all the employees to dress as super heroes at work. We decide he's going to be Physical Therapy Man. I made the costume of Navy tights and shirt with a gold shield and PT Man emblazoned on the front. Gold Shorts and a cape with a variety of exercise bands flying in the breeze, finished it off.  He won first prize. Surprise, surprise!



Learn more about this author, Ronnie Egerton.
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