by Susan Zalenski

Created on: July 28, 2011   Last Updated: July 29, 2011

1. Not talking to each other anymore except when necessity is the motivator.  I have found in a past relationship when you primarily only speak to each other about finances, the children, house upkeep, and finding time together outside the house for appearance sake only then you've hit a dead end in your relationship.  And most of the time partners disagree about these subjects.  You intuitively know that closeness in sharing thoughts and emotions is gone.  You feel it so profoundly and if you're honest with yourself you know it's a given that it most likely will not change.

2. You lack enjoyment when being with your partner and you have little desire to make changes that may enhance your relationship.  You find every excuse to be out of the house with friends or family and feel little need to let your partner know of your whereabouts.  You find enjoyment and peace when they are gone.  You go to bed at completely different times and breathe a sigh of relief when you know they are asleep.  You look for solitude and happiness in places where they are not present. 

3. You start to resent your partner and that they are or already have held you back from dreams you once had.  You begin to blame them for your disatisfaction and think more and more about life without them.  You feel you will never pursue or reach the heights you once held so dear as long as you are with them.  Life begins to lack the pleasure you once had and time feels as if it's slipping by faster than a shooting star. 

4. There is no sex and if on occasion it does happen it is forced and the passion is gone.  It feels as if it's a job and you pray for it to be over with so you once again can retreat into your dreams of starting anew.  You have new passions in your mind and they make you happy even to just ponder them. 

5. Thinking about life without your partner is no longer as frightening as you once thought it may be.  You feel ready to move on and it excites you to have these challenges in front of you.  You begin to feel stronger and know without hesitation it is the right thing to do.  You have made plans for this change and know in your heart it will become a reality that may have significant struggles but also be the best thing you can do for yourself and your family.  You have no regrets.

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