by Howard Farkas

Created on: July 25, 2011

There are many reasons that people use food as a way of coping with stress. In my work with emotional eaters, however, I have found that there are four common types of behavioral styles that are most prevalent and seem to uniquely predispose people to emotional eating.

The Suppressor The Impostor The Perfectionist The Pleaser

Suppressors are people who tend to deal with stress internally, without letting on that they are feeling overwhelmed, need help, or need to talk about their feelings. Often, they are not even consciously aware of the fact that they are feeling this way, but may readily acknowledge it when asked by someone who recognizes the amount of stress they must be dealing with. They may not have the tools to express themselves emotionally or may not feel comfortable doing so. Often, they are concerned about the appearance of weakness in asking for help.

Impostors are those who feel like they’re just pretending to be competent at what they do (even though they really are) and feel like they’re getting away with this supposed charade. It’s commonly referred to as the Impostor Syndrome, and often leads to anxiety about the possibility of being “found out.” They consequently have a tendency to be overly vigilant in carrying out their tasks and are very cautious about avoiding mistakes. Instead of feeling satisfaction after successful completion of a task, the person usually just feels relieved.

Perfectionists are also extremely careful about avoiding mistakes in whatever they do, but they are motivated more by a fear of being flawed rather than the humiliation of being exposed like the Impostor. They are driven to be perfect in what they do, and embrace a black and white view of success and failure. They tend to see any result that is less than perfect as a failed effort.

Pleasers represent, I believe, the most common coping style among emotional eaters. This refers to those who consistently put the needs of others ahead of their own. They may feel obligated to take on a task for someone else even if that means that they must sacrifice what they want to do for themselves in order to accomplish it. This behavior is a combination of the desire to avoid conflict or rejection if they assert themselves, together with a tendency to undervalue their own needs.

One thing all of these coping styles share in common is the experience of a constant state of tension just beneath the surface of their outward behavior. The tension comes

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