by Adele Gregory

Created on: July 11, 2011

Of all the techniques at a manager’s disposal, few are as good for establishing positive relationships and getting an accurate handle on situations as effective listening. Most manager’s are aware that employees need to feel heard, but the truly good leaders know that there’s much more benefit in a well-tuned ear.

Above all, good leaders find ways to listen with interest and curiosity. It’s not true to say they listen “patiently” because patience implies waiting for something whereas the best managers know that the journey is as important as the destination. Curious listening follows a story as it unfolds without trying to rush or second guess it. Like reading a novel, you allow the author to take you into his world, travel with him and see things through his eyes. Managers who let their minds wander, interrupt or push someone to the point lose valuable insights into how people think.

What helps good leaders listen with interest is knowing that they do not need to “lead” everything all the time. They’re able to stay on the receiving end for a while and accept the role of audience until it becomes clear what’s required of them. In some cases, there will be a point where they’re asked for their guidance or decision. But other times, solutions are reached by simply allowing things to play out by themselves with minimal intervention. Knowing when and how to intervene isn’t entirely down to wisdom and experience. It’s helped a great deal by listening attentively and keeping an open mind.

We all have expectations about what can, will or should happen. But good leaders know not to be blinded by them. A staff member who often comes up with fanciful and impractical suggestions might hit on a brilliant one some day. Employees given to complaining about some parts of the work can have areas where they feel quite positive and enthusiastic. Rigid assumptions about roles, processes or people can become stereotypes that squeeze out information that doesn’t fit. Good leaders listen with an open mind so that they can respond to what they actually hear rather than what they expected to hear and not miss what may be new, unusual or surprising.

Staying open-minded, interested and curious are qualities of any good listener. Leaders, however, have to do a bit more multi-tasking than the average listener. Unlike a counsellor or supportive friend, a manager has to slot what he or she is hearing into a bigger picture. Leaders need to consider how something might affect their team’s goals, resources and relationships, and can sometimes receive different versions of events from different people. If a leader’s ear were a camera, it would be one with a zoom lens that can come in for a close-up on what someone is saying, then pan back to view it from a wider angle.

Busy offices, lots of pressure and interruptions can make it hard to concentrate. But listening isn’t an extra demand on top of other stressors. Done properly, it’s actually relaxing. The relaxation comes from focusing your attention on just one thing and staying “present” with what’s happening moment to moment. Taking the pressure off to rush ahead and second-guess someone also cuts the risk of jumping to negative conclusions and worst-case scenarios which are the real stressors.

When it comes to listening good leaders employ a different kind of “top down” policy – start at the top of your head by opening your mind, then your eyes and ears and finally, the mouth.

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