by Christina A. Armani

Created on: July 11, 2011

Sometimes letting go is easy and sometimes it’s very hard.  It’s those hard times that cause us lots of hurt and pain.  No matter how difficult or hard it is to let go, always remember that it’s better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.  Loves come and go out of peoples lives, but when the one you’re meant to be with forever comes along that’ll all end.  For those other times, the best you can do is to make it as easy as possible for yourself to move on.

Surround yourself with people who won’t constantly tell you to move on or that it’s over forever.  If you’re not ready to move on forever, those are things that’ll only make you feel worse.  You shouldn’t live in the past forever or plan to wait on an ex to come back forever, but fantasizing at first can be a good coping mechanism.  It’s best to surround yourself with people who will be an ear and not judge or criticize you for your feelings.  If you have questions that are burning on your mind, contact your ex and try to get some answers.  You deserve to have some answers when it comes to a break up, and putting your mind at ease will help you to move on.

Sometimes throwing away old mementos helps and sometimes it doesn’t.  If the two of you lived together it’ll probably make things even more complicated since all your possessions were mixed with his or hers at some point.  You don’t have to get rid of gifts just because they were from the ex but it may be best to put things aside at least for a little while.  It can probably help to keep old photos and look at them, and it’s ok to think back on the past and remember happy times.   It’s ok to remember that somebody loved you before since it’ll get you to remember that someone will love you again.  It’s best to busy yourself with other things though since you don’t want to immerse yourself with the past.

Don’t blame yourself.  If he or she was the one then it would have worked out.  If a breakup wasn’t supposed to happen then it wouldn’t have happened.  Don’t be angry at your ex either, focusing on positive emotions is the best way to move on.  It’s alright to be a little angry and upset for a while but at some point you have to put that aside, staying upset and angry means you’re dwelling on the past.  It’s fine to visit the past sometimes, but you can’t stay there forever.

Since you’re single again, you can take some time for you.  You have your hobbies and interests that are different then those of your ex so focus on them.  Do you have some goals and dreams that you put on the backburner because you were too busy with a relationship?   Now is the best time to put such things on the frontburner.  If you don’t have any goals and dreams yet, now is the perfect time to think about what you want to do with your life and come up with some plans for yourself.  At some point “the one” will come along and experiences with exes will probably even help you realize and determine that this new person is your forever love.

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