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recognize the difference between normal conflict and actual abuse.

Below are links to more information, including help hot-lines: http://www.ndvh.org/educate/wh at_is_dv.html and http://www.helpguide.org/menta l/domestic_violence_abuse_help _treatment_prevention.htm

If physical violence is already commonplace, there is absolutely no excuse for staying! Do not justify staying because "the children never get hit." They Are being damaged make no mistake! Making excuses for an abuser and seeing no way out are symptoms common to abuse victims. You must make a conscious choice to act in spite of fear of your partner and/or of facing an uncertain future.

Try to use a computer outside the home to do your research or contact others. Abusers are often suspicious and obsessive about "checking" on their victims. Online activity is easily tracked and it is nearly impossible for the average computer user to really clear those 'tracks'. Use a library or other public access to get your information and make your plan. If possible, call when and from a phone where you know you will not be overheard. If you or anyone reading this is ready to get help, whether in leaving or merely counseling, call your local family crisis center. Enlist the help of others; family, friends or even strangers off the street if a call to 911 is necessary. Make sure others are present and aware of the situation at hand if you must interact with the abusive partner while trying to leave. Be smart and be safe.

Life can and does regain its joy with time once you realize you deserve better and make the decision to change your life! Free counseling is available and the moral support of others who are or have been your shoes can be invaluable. If you are one of this growing numbers of victims, get on-line and become informed, make the call to your Family Crisis Center and take that first step to the life you deserve!

Learn more about this author, GraMarie Walker.
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