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Domestic violence seems to be running rampant in our society today. Men and women from all walks of life can "wake up" to find themselves mired in a relationship that is physically and/or psychologically abusive.

The early signs of abuse may be hard to recognize. Isolating you from family and friends can be your first clue. This may seem like the two of you just don't need anyone else to be happy. If you are 'blindly' in love, you may not notice what is happening until those you care about are either too far away to help or have been alienated in some way. This alienation usually begins with your partner pointing out how this one or that one doesn't "really care about you", doesn't treat you right or other comments that make him/her look like your protector and your friends and family look like heels. When you are alone is when the trouble begins.

You may see other signs along the way like fleeting hints of unreasonable jealousy, constant calling or a need to know where you are and who you are with at all times. At first, this can make you feel wanted, particularly if you are needy yourself or like to feel 'protected. If a partner shows that edge of anger (the kind that chills your blood) with others, you will probably come under its blade as well. It seems to start with verbal abuse in private. In public he/she may be overly possessive, attentive and affectionate. Spend some time with his/her family. Sometimes you will recognize a pattern. If the mother/father seems overly submissive with their partner, don't be too quick to dismiss it as them just being a wimpy sort.

Remember, if he/she scares you, there is probably good reason for you to be scared! Don't wait until they have convinced you that you don't deserve better treatment. In the case of seeing a family member or friend in one of these situations, just notice any changes... Increased timidity or quietness when he/she is around, nervousness and desperation to please, feigned happiness when their eyes have the look of a hunted thing and, of course, unsatisfactorily explained injuries are all red flags.

The first step to change is recognizing if you are in an abusive relationship. If you think you might be, seek education. Victims usually feel like they somehow "deserve" the treatment they are receiving. This very common symptom is the primary reason for making excuses for the abuser and staying in a bad situation. The psychological effects of abuse can be so strong that it becomes hard for the victim to

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