Leadership skills are one of the most important things you can give to you children - truly a gift that will keep on giving throughout their whole lives. The benefits of leadership accrue in so many facets of our lives. Leaders have more friends and the respect of their peers. Leaders have better jobs and earn more money. Leaders are confident about pursuing their dreams.

How can you help your child develop his or her leadership instincts?

First, it's important to realize that everyone has leadership capabilities, but we are most likel to use them in situations where we feel most confident. For some people, an intellectual situation is best for them. For others, it's an athletic field, and for others it's artistic. My daughter, for example, is lost on a soccer field, but she will corral several girls in the neighborhood and direct them in a play. She's a follower in one arena, and a leader in another.

Therefore, you must help you child discover where his or her strengths lie, and encourage your child to pursue those avenues. This doesn't mean that all other activities should be ignored, but you need to be especially positive about the things in which your kid really shines.

Second, when you identify those areas of particular skill, encourage your child to be a leader in them. Your child might be a great soccer player. Tell him or her that he/she can get even better. That he/she can make the team better by being a positive leader on the field. (This doesn't mean that your kid should try to score all the goals. It means that your kid should play the way the coach wants, but should encourage the other kids who are perhaps struggling to play as well.) Your kid might be a total nerd who loves Star Trek reruns; encourage him or her to start a Star Trek club at school. That's a chance to be a leader.

Third, explain to your child what leadership is all about. Tell your child that being a leader brings great rewards - both in personal achievement, but also in the satisfaction of leading a group of people towards achieving a goal. (And you should have on-hand some examples of your own leadership traits.)

Fourth, explain to your child that he or she can't be a leader, or be the best, in everything. This will lead to a discussion of what leadership is not. It's not berating other people, belittling other people, or showing rage when things do not go well. It is understanding that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and that leadership is working to maximize the strengths and minimize the weaknesses.

With these tips, I hope you are on your way to having happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids. If you are even reading this article, you are well on your way to success, because you are showing concern for an important facet of life.

Learn more about this author, B. B. James.
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