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The scurvy plumber ... the BUTT of jokes, and snickered at behind his back. But you can't do without what we have to offer! When you don't have any water, or you can't flush 'ol number two down the pipe, then we become as mighty as Superman! No amount of technology will ever replace the lowly plumber. Until you've crawled in the rot, snot, and maggoty filth that plumbers have to crawl in, you will never appreciate what we do.

Our reputation must remain stellar, especially in a small town like I live in. A few bad reports on your work, or demeanor, and you're out of business. Knowing what to charge is crucial to your success. You obviously can't charge too much, but you've also got to be careful to charge enough. If you undercharge, you can go under, and it's hard to correct your price in midstream.

People think if you charge fifty to a hundred bucks an hour, you must be a thief. If it were an easy job, everyone would do it. On top of being nasty a lot of the time, it is a highly skilled labor. There are a lot of variables in plumbing, thousands of parts made by hundreds of different manufacturers, and you must be able to work on them all with some degree of confidence.

You must be willing to lay in ice and water in the winter, and sweat copper pipe with a propane torch in an unvented crawlspace in the summer. You must have a cast-iron stomach, and not throw up when you get smacked in the face with some vile crud from a stopped up drain pipe. You must know how to tactfully tell a woman that flushing her sanitary things down the drain is costing her big bucks.

The same people who gripe about paying the plumber wont bat an eye when they give a lawyer $175.00 an hour. When all is said and done though, I would rather have what I get on my hands than what a lawyer gets on his ... at least mine washes off.

We take a lot of grief from people, who really don't grasp the concept of skilled labor. They think that if they only make ten or twelve dollars an hour, then that's what we should make. They fail to realize that it has taken me years to learn how to fix their problems, and I do it without hesitation. When they have an emergency, I'm there. When their pipes freeze, I'm there. I am the scurvy plumber.

Learn more about this author, Marty Alan McGill.
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