Household chores are everyone's responsibility. How to get them to do their chores varies by age. But doing chores, should always be a family thing.

I started my kids out at a young age. The first things that they were responsible for were their toys and clothes. I made up games (We played cleanup derby-the kids raced to see who could get the most picked up in the shortest time.)to make chore time more fun. If they didn't help pick up their things, then I would take them away for a short time. I did my chores when they did theirs so that they would learn it was a family responsibility.

Another thing to remember is that nobody's perfect. Don't criticize the job they've done (this is especially true if they are young). Appreciate them for their effort. If it is obvious that they need a little help, offer to do it with them.

When the kids got older, I added responsibilities. They not only had to pick up their toys and clothes but also had to help with the dishes and take out the trash. Now instead of playing games to encourage them I gave them an allowance. They were paid for the chores that they've done. They would use their allowance to pay for extras ( movies, hobbies, clothes they wanted). Some people disagree with this but I think it prepares them for their future at work. If they didn't do their chores or I had to bug them to get them done, they would be docked. If they volunteered to do extra chores, then they got extra money.

When they got to be teenagers and started earning their own money. Chores were still their responsiblity. But they were tied more to their independence. If they needed clothes washed - they washed them themselves. We were a busy family and rarely had time to sit down together for a meal. So, the kids prepared their own meals. If they wanted to use the gar they had to check the fluids, put gas in it and clean it out and wash it. By now, they no longer received an allowance as an incentive. Instead, they were allowed to experience the consquences if they decided not to do them. They would have to go to school and work in dirty clothes. They didn't get to eat what they wouldn't fix or buy for themselves(unless we had a family dinner). They wouldn't get to use the car if they didn't maintain it.

I have found that the best way to get your kids to do their chores is to be an example and do chores yourself. You also need to tie in their chores with appropriate rewards and consequences. You shouldn't criticize but appreciate their efforts

Learn more about this author, Cynthia Harlan.
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